I'm still in pain after at least a week of the same thing. Apparently I've got three small blood clots in my lungs, pulmonary embolisms/emboli/whatever. The only thing I can do is take painkillers and get lots of rest, apparently.

What fun. I don't like being ill, but I get ill a lot. Growl.

On a lighter (ha) note, Elliot was on the phone last night. He called me heartless, cruel and purely nasty, for how I've been treating him over the last few months. How dare he call me heartless and cruel and nasty? I did nothing but protect him and take orders from him basically for over a year, he was a controlling bastard who made me feel guilty when I wanted to do something my way, or dress in what I wanted, or control how much time I was on the phone to him for. I had enough, so I tried to end it, he thought we were on a piggin break, I give up with that boy I really do, I'll be glad when he goes to Uni. Yeah, I used to love him, but that changed a long time ago, practically a year ago when I got a tongue-lashing for sitting by my BEST FRIEND who happened to be a guy! I mean, if I can't even sit by my best male friend, then that aint exactly a good relationship is it. Hence the splitting up-ness (eventually). Mum and dad won't let me answer the phone to him any more, and I'm glad to be honest. If he phones the house phone they're gonna answer and say I'm not available, and I'll just ignore my mobile. It's gonna be easier said than done, but you know, maybe he'll get the message then?

I really give up with men, everyone I've ever liked has hurt me in some way, and a lot of the time it's because I like this same person, or someone else doesn't like this person. And it's always the same. And I don't know what to do about him anymore. I don't know how he feels, I certainly know how I feel, but I don't know whether I should be feeling this way because of everything that's happened and the random signals I get from him, or whether I should try and find someone else, but then there's the chance it'll just happen again and I'll end up wanting this other guy again, like has happened at lest twice before. It's just a vicious circle and I don't know what to do.

aw sweetheart!! he's the uncaring heartless one, bastard!!:( did they give you aspirin as a painkiller? to help the pain and thin your blood??*hopes so* *huge bug feel better hugs* feel free to call/email me or whatevere if you fancy a good moan. *hugs*

^that was me...oopps...sorry...

Meh, men. How annoying.
Anyway, apparently I can't be given blood-thinners cos they're so small it'd hardly be worth it...or something! Oh I don't know, I'm looking on the bright side - if it was very serious I'd either be in hospital or on lots of medication, and I'm neither...so y'know.
As for men, growl again!

Hey Issy just started tlkn 2 u on msn again...which is great cause I have missed these very random chats etc! How bad is this i have stil got a picture of you in my bedroom and my current gf feels jealous of it but i really get on well with you, and still see you as one of my REAL best mates:)! Well just thought i would leave my mark!
An as for that ass-wipe i don't know anyone more caring than you. You're great...far too good even to talk to him! Love yous! BYEEEEee!

You've got my music :)as your listening to! yayness. I feel i should add some of our vocablary into this comment so: Glump, merk, yayness and phreph. You know what Elliot's like... he won't stop! But move on as best you can atm... Smile, in the common room smile while you sit in the corner and read your mag and smile at home... says me mr depression lol.

Mwhah! Found you! Ok, just followed links on my hotmail contacts list when I was bored. But really, it'll work out. And even if he is a smell at the mo, you're definitely closest to him out of anyone, if it helps. Rah to the evil bitch! [Meditate]

...Oops, that wasn't supposed to be there at the end. Sorry!

Eeee comments! Heehee you narna Tuppy M. Oh cheese. GROWL at them all! But yay no more work! :) Humph humph humph.

Sorry about Elliot being a nasty. It seems you're better off without him. He is quite wrong: you are lovely.

Happy birthday! :)

When you get to uni there will be TONS of lovely men :)